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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/23414614">Genuine</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/theHephaestus/pseuds/theHephaestus'>theHephaestus</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Angst, Armitage Hux is So Done, Awkward Kylo Ren, F/M, Kylo Ren Has Issues, Kylo Ren Needs a Hug, Kylo Ren has genuine feelings, Kylo Ren is Matt the Radar Technician, Kylo Ren is a big Softie, Lonely Kylo Ren, Oblivious Kylo Ren, POV Second Person, Possessive Kylo Ren, Pre-Star Wars: The Force Awakens, Protective Kylo Ren, Slow Build, Slow Burn, Snoke Being a Dick, Soft Kylo Ren, Sweet Kylo Ren, Touch-Starved Kylo Ren</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-04-25</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-07-28</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-01 08:42:09</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Mature</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>7</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>10,320</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/23414614</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/theHephaestus/pseuds/theHephaestus</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Kylo Ren lived mostly in solitude, only occasionally fraternising with one particular Intelligence Officer. Though conversations were kept short as neither time nor place were usually appropriate enough. Desiring to familiarise himself with his acquaintance even more, he makes the drastic decision to imitate a radar technician.</p><p>(or, wherein Kylo is a lonely boy)</p><p>*POV second person*</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Ben Solo | Kylo Ren/Reader, Ben Solo | Kylo Ren/You, Kylo Ren/Reader, Kylo Ren/You, Matt The Radar Technician/You, Matt the Radar Technician/Reader</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>21</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>202</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. sleep deprived</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>you consistently greet the commander<br/>it piques his interest</p><p>you haven't slept in a long time<br/>the commander doesn't like that</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>reworked (1/4)</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The commander of the First Order was a recluse - already his high rank and his status as knight alienating those around him. That, and because he was Kylo Ren, an often violent and temperamental force sensitive, kept the troopers and officers out of his way.</p><p>Though not you.</p><p>If anything, you made efforts to meet the knight when he marched about the Finalizer. You originally only acknowledged him with a standard salute but had since moved on to greeting him in a chipper tone. You were never too eager in your ventures and would not linger in the commander’s presence for more than a few minutes.</p><p>So far, he had never turned you away or drawn his lightsaber on you.</p><p>The inability to experience fear certainly eased your stunt. But you also had an incredible sensitivity and empathy that helped you perceive the emotions, aspirations, and thoughts of others - even when they would desperately try to hide them.</p><p>And even the commander’s.</p><p>And your sensitivity felt that the commander somewhat appreciated your greetings and would not chase you away anytime soon.</p><p>However, your actions had drawn the attentions of others that spread nasty rumours about you. Not that it was something new. You had been largely on your own since you had joined the First Order.</p><p>They welcomed your qualities, both your physical and mental, though they had chosen to primarily rely on your mental abilities after they heard what had you come to them. Not that you minded - you were good at what you did and liked doing it.</p><p>Save for moments like these.</p><p>You had been up for multiple cycles, working through both day and night, and were stuck in your habit with no sight of an end. It was difficult to break you out of your focus, though there were officers that had tried but they were met with petulant protest. The times you returned to your quarters were brief and only served to freshen up and change uniform.</p><p>Your droid had joined you at some point, insistent on providing company and to remind you of breaktimes. He had also attempted to persuade you of returning to your room more permanently but he too received objection.</p><p>You could find solace in that you were currently working on your own. The other officers had long ago been replaced by droids that would monitor the operations throughout night cycle and alert personnel if something happened. You were the only member of your team that would <em>occasionally</em> work through night cycles.</p><p>Though ‘occasionally’ was an understatement.</p><p>You groaned and put your head in your hands. The sleep deprivation had started to bleed through your façade, leaving you somewhat delirious. Your change in demeanour had been noted by Z-3N who then hovered close to you, chirping as to inquire whether you were all right.</p><p>You nodded and gave him a pat before refocusing your attention on the holopad. You wanted to complete this assignment but that would not be an easy task.</p><p>There had been a junior officer who had tried to do this, desperate to prove himself to his own supervisor. He had messed it up and then asked for your guidance on how to resolve it. You had offered to take the problem off his hands from there on instead, which he gladly accepted.</p><p>You told Zen to return to your quarters and embed himself in his quadrupedal body while you would briefly visit Durdich, your supervisor. Zen chirped with glee and then left your side after nudging you in thanks.</p><p>You felt the tug of sleep once you were on your own way and had to steady yourself midway. Even you could only operate so long without rest. You heard someone come up to you from behind you and tried to move on but were halted by a modulated voice.</p><p>You turned and changed into a somewhat sloppy salute.</p><p>The commander stood there, masked and robed as always. He stood to the side with his head tilted as if scrutinising you. He stood close enough to see the discolouration beneath your eyes and see the tiredness they held - you looked like a poor example of the officer you usually were.</p><p>“How long have you been up?” The commander inquired.</p><p>There was concern in his tone despite the tempering voice modulator.</p><p>“Sir, this is the fourth night cycle.”</p><p>The commander crossed his arms in response, and your sensitivity picked up on disappointment - <strong>his</strong> disappointment.</p><p>“Get rest.” The commander blundered.</p><p>“By all respect, Sir, I have a task to finish.” You whined now, no longer acutely aware that you stood across from the second-in-command.</p><p>“This is a direct order from your superior.”</p><p>You groaned and rubbed at your eyes that had been closing repeatedly. You could not ignore his order and maybe you needed a push like this. You might just work yourself to death otherwise.</p><p>You wordlessly nodded in shame.</p><p>The commander waved over one of the patrolling troopers. “Ensure that she returns to her quarters.” He commanded and then left.</p><p>The trooper turned to you and swiftly realised what the problem was. He had you point out the way and kept a hand on your back in case that you might fall over.</p><p>He spoke up somewhere along the way. “I am TR-1X or simply Trix.”</p><p>“Former special forces.” You commented.</p><p>“Exactly.” The stormtrooper smiled beneath his helmet. “What about you?”</p><p>You grimaced at the question. You did not have much of a name that you could share with others. You had long ago forfeited the right to own one although you did have a nickname.</p><p>You were unsure of where the name had originated from and you neither liked nor disliked the name. It was acceptable and somewhat described you in one word.</p><p>“Silky.” You answered with a tired chuckle.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. wrench</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>you get a date with a wrench<br/>the commander cares about that</p><p>introduction of the bumblebee</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>reworked (2/4)</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>For the past week, you had tried to avoid the commander to the best of your abilities. You were embarrassed by the behaviour you had displayed a few cycles ago and now wanted to save some of your dignity.</p><p>If you thought about it, it was ironic. You would usually yearn to extend the knight some kindness and now you were knowingly depriving him of it.</p><p>This led you to where you were now – peering around the corner. So far, the way to your station looked free, save for the two guarding troopers. You released the breath you had been holding and straightened up.</p><p>“What are we doing here?” A modulated voice asked from behind you.</p><p>You whirled around and impulsively pushed the person away before taking some steps backwards.</p><p>“Relax, it’s just me.” Trix chuckled as he held up his hands in surrender.</p><p>“I thought you were the commander.”</p><p>The stormtrooper removed his helmet to reveal tousled auburn hair and a cheeky smile. “I am much the opposite to the commander.” He attested. “My armour is white and, as far as I am concerned, I do not have any temperamental issues.” He laughed. You shook your head but could not supress a smile.</p><p>The both of you sobered up at the sight of the junior general rounding the corner and changed into a salute.</p><p>The general curtly dismissed Trix and told you to be at ease before he folded his hands behind his back. “Your work has permitted us to locate and eradicate those space pirates.” He praised. “I hope I can continue to expect such excellent work of you.”</p><p>You silently nodded with a smile.</p><p>“I’ll leave you to continue said splendid work.” The general said with a nod before he continued to march down the hall. You went back to work afterwards with the general’s praise serving as motivation.</p><p>Your endeavours went uninterrupted up until an argument broke out somewhere behind you that deterred your focus. There were two technicians that were arguing with a frenzied officer, who had apparently felt restricted by the repairs the techs had been doing.</p><p>You thought that it was quite pointless and rude of the officer; the technicians and mechanics were the ones who were keeping this ship afloat, functioning and in a presentable condition.</p><p>The affair started to get out of hand, and the young technician now rested a hand on one of his heavier tools in an attempt to intimidate the officer. You swiftly joined the officer’s side and put a hand on his shoulder.</p><p>It was much like you to get yourself mixed up in business that you were not originally involved in. It could mostly be attributed to your sensitivity – that of your mind and that of your ears.</p><p>You firmly told the technicians to calm down but then the two started to argue between themselves. You stepped between the two and told the older tech to back up.</p><p>Angry people acted recklessly.</p><p>Your point was proven soon after.</p><p>You were not quite sure what happened, but you got a cold serving of wrench to the nose and right eye, causing the former to bleed. You cursed loudly which made the young technician drop the tool and try to help you instead.</p><p>You swatted his hands away and assured him that you were okay.</p><p>No minute later, the district supervisor marched in, having most likely been alerted by the officer. You were familiar with the man – a Corellian by the name of Thul Alir. He checked up on you first before he dragged the whining technicians out whilst already reprimanding them.</p><p>The officer provided you with a handkerchief to clean up the blood, bewildered by its bizarre colouration. This detail entertained you because you well knew that the officer was haemophilic, and that it was the platinum colour of your blood that kept him from fainting.</p><p>You soon distanced yourself from him and returned to work once the blood had stopped flowing. You worked for a few more hours but soon decided to head back to your quarters. You had promised Trix not to work double cycles more than three times a week and you had reached that quota already. That, and Zen had requested you to return.</p><p>He would have accompanied you to work but he was in his sleeve and he should not change bodies too often.</p><p>You went through the procedure with the protocol droid before you shut off the holopad and afterwards left the room. You greeted the guarding stormtrooper with a nod and then made your way down the hallway.</p><p>You were halted by a modulated voice calling out to you. You were faced with the commander who dipped his head once he saw the bruise that had formed under your eye. You saluted properly once he stood in front of you and added a cheery greeting.</p><p>“What happened?” He enquired in his usual monotonous tone.</p><p>You grimaced. “I got hit with a wrench.”</p><p>This answer did not satisfy him. “Explain.”</p><p>You sighed. “Two technicians and an officer had gotten into an argument and I got myself involved.” You summed up. “The officer acted civil throughout the altercation, and the technicians have been reprimanded already.” You added before he could ask.</p><p>The commander had in the meantime tilted your head to the left to inspect the bruise better. You did not mind as you were well used to humans and other aliens inspecting injuries of any kind that you would sustain. Your healing process was much different to those of other species, which understandably awakened interest.</p><p>“It will be better by tomorrow.” You assured him with a smile.</p><p>The commander stepped away. “Good, then I will let you move on.”</p><p>You nodded. “Thank you, Commander Ren.”</p><p>The commander left, and you continued on to your quarters. Once there, you were promptly tackled by Zen, who demanded your attention.</p><p>You had administrative duties in the main hangar the next morning, which proved to be stressful. Not only were the loud noises distracting and straining, but the troopers you had to work with were rather belligerent.</p><p>At least you were working alongside Lieutenant Dopheld Mitaka, a person you favoured over many others. The two of you had formed somewhat of a camaraderie which allowed you to tackle the strenuous morning with humour.</p><p>You were back to working at your trusty station after you had lunch with Trix though there was yet another commotion soon enough. It was Alir that was scolding one of the senior technicians, who in turn scolded a newbie for endangering himself.</p><p>Alir groaned and dragged the senior out in an attempt to calm him down, all while telling him that this affair did not warrant this loud of a fuss. The other officers returned to work and you decided to check up on the trainee.</p><p>Damn your empathy.</p><p>You put a hand on his shoulder and almost stumbled to the floor yourself once the technician abruptly stood up in reaction.</p><p>He was tall - taller than the average human.</p><p>Otherwise, he resembled a lost bumblebee with his shaggy blonde hair reinforcing the point.</p><p>The two of you stared at one another for an awkward moment but then you remembered why you checked on the tech in the first place. You produced a silver cloth from your jacket’s pocket and gingerly wrapped it around his injured hand.</p><p>You glanced at the open panel behind the technician to see what had caused his wound. It seemed that a sharp wire was the culprit.</p><p>“You should be more careful.” You chided softly. “Hands are a technician’s most crucial tool.” The tech mustered you and that is when you realised you had still been holding onto his hand. You let go of it and stepped back.</p><p>“I presume you are new or were transferred from a different department?” You asked with simper.</p><p>Perhaps he was an ex-soldier who was declared unfit to return to the battlefield. You had seen many of those come and go.</p><p>“I am Matt, a new radar technician.” He just missed the decibel needed to describe what he did as shouting. “And who are you?” His voice was suddenly much gentler and lower.</p><p>“Oh, I am Silky.”</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. stolen credit</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>credit is stolen<br/>kylo is a good actor</p><p>he believes in 'quid pro quo'<br/>you get an unlikely ally</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>reworked (3/4)</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>It was not about the stolen credit for you nor the extra reward. No, it was about the comments the officer had made and how smug he was about it. The superintendent even chimed in and patronised you with remarks about your work ethic.</p><p>Those had agitated you the most.</p><p>Most of the other officers had either silently agreed or even joined in, which took the ploy even further. It had even rekindled the rumours that you had murdered your former supervisor.</p><p>Those made the least sense.</p><p>Why would you still be around if you had done that? And the officer was alive and well. The two of you would even share a meal from time to time. You had earnestly thought that you were past the phase where rumours are given more merit than your actions.</p><p>You groaned and massaged your temples. You should have taken lunch with Trix, if only for the sake of your mood. You reviewed the intel you had spent analysing for the past twenty minutes and found five mistakes in the top half alone.</p><p>This was unlike you.</p><p>The trademark sound of the doors alerted you to the presence of the same senior technician and newbie from a few cycles ago. The senior acknowledged you with a nod as he led the way to the front of the room. He then patiently instructed the novice on how to recalibrate the console but let him do the work himself.</p><p>You noticed only then that the newbie wore glasses, something that you were sure he did not have last time you had seen him. You also noted that he had a rather awkward posture which could be a result of routinely wearing heavy armour.</p><p>This furthered your belief that he was a former trooper or ex-special forces.</p><p>The technicians were interrupted by their commlinks, and the senior had to leave shortly after. It was something about a door that malfunctioned and was now stuck in emergency mode. You left your seat a moment later and approached Matt.</p><p>“How’s your hand?”</p><p>He turned towards you. “Better.” He looked as if he wanted to ask you something too but was unsure about whether he should or not. You made the wild guess that he was wondering where your grey blemish came from.</p><p>“I got hit with a wrench on accident.”</p><p>Matt nodded as he went from scrutinising the contusion to meeting your eyes. “It looks much better than last time we met.”</p><p>He was tall <strong>and</strong> he had intense eyes – what a combination.</p><p>You glanced at the console that was almost back to functioning as it should. “You seem to be doing better as well.” You commented with a smile. “Most struggle with consoles even after they have done it a few times.”</p><p>The two of you shared another awkward moment that was thankfully interrupted by the sound of the door. It revealed three officers whose conversation dwindled to sheer whispers as they caught a glimpse of you. They returned to their respective stations whereby they neither acknowledged you nor the technician.</p><p>You grumbled lowly and crossed your arms.</p><p>Matt took note of your rising irritation and stepped closer to you. “You seem agitated.” He commented, subtly inquiring the reason.</p><p>“Oh, just thieving officers and sardonic superintendents.” You sighed but then were treated with a look that demanded further explanation. “An officer somehow got possession of my data and presented it as his own, and the district superintendent well knows that.” You groaned. “And I don’t mind that part.” You continued in a bitter tone. “It’s the comments they made.”</p><p>You pushed yourself off the wall. “I apologise for rambling.” You saw that the senior technician had returned in the meantime.</p><p>“I was inclined to think that these officers would no longer treat me differently from humans after all this time.” You added before you retuned to your station.</p><p>Matt was left with questions unanswered, but it was nothing he could not solve. Your sensitivity picked up on his determination, but you attributed it to his task.</p><p>You continued your work, thankful for the eventual dwindling number of officers around you and the change in light, which was now soft and had a blue and purple hue.</p><p>Trix had at some point come by to ask whether he should escort you to your quarters. You declined and said that you wanted to work some more. Trix mentioned then that Fel, one of the temporaries, had told him about what happened and urged you to report the obvious discrimination and fraud.</p><p>You explained to him that the higherups would be on the side of the human officers and that your own supervisor, Durdich, was temporarily stationed on Starkiller Base to oversee a newly formed Intelligence Team.</p><p>It sounded to Trix that you were witness to it or gone through it yourself often enough to know it. He told you not to overwork yourself, as he would otherwise sic Zen on you before he left in defeat.</p><p>You continue work for a few hours until the doors once more deterred your focus. You had expected it to be one of the droids or a stormtrooper, but there stood the junior general and commander instead. You stood to salute but were told be at ease and to sit down.</p><p>The general started with how it had come to his attention that there was a breach of your station and how that led him to discover that an officer had taken credit for your arduous work.</p><p>The officer had supposedly done it because he had not reached his quota for months and had stayed undetected because his superintendent covered him. And that it was the superintendent’s idea to steal from you, the only alien of this team, in the first place.</p><p>Hux told you that the technician that helped breach your station had been assigned to an <em>outpost</em>, and that the officer would be appointed to a different department, where he would come under Pryde’s supervision. (Poor bastard.)</p><p>The superintendent had simply been reassigned, and Durdich would replace her until further notice.</p><p>You had listened in silence and had let your gaze wander to the floor. The general had since been halted by the commander who had realised that you needed a moment to process <em>this</em>.</p><p>You had told Trix just a few hours ago that a higherup would either not be on your side or would just ignore the affair, and now the general had done the opposite.</p><p>Your gaze shifted to your hands where faint sigils and runes had appeared. You brushed over them and realised only then how long you had not seen them.</p><p>This made you aware of just how much you respected the general.</p><p>He had only ever treated you with reverence and would praise you every now and then when you would cross paths in the hallway or when you reported to him in person. He had not once demeaned you.</p><p>“Thank you.” You said after a while, unsure of what else to say.</p><p>“The commander did his part as well.” Hux added, which prompted you to look up and repeat your thanks to the knight.</p><p>You felt that the commander would have said something too if it were not for the chrome captain that entered and motioned for him to follow her. The general watched them leave but then returned his attention to you.</p><p>“I heard TR-1X call you ‘Silky’.” He stated with a raised brow.</p><p>“It is my nickname, Sir.”</p><p>The general studied you for a moment. “It suits you.” He commented before he backtracked to the doors. He turned once more before he left. “You have an ally in me, Silky.”</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. weeks</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>things have changed<br/>you have a new assignment</p><p>you reflect about matt<br/>you haven't sleep for several cycles</p><p>disappointed kylo.gif</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>reworked (4/4)</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The past few weeks had gone well for both the First Order and you. The Order had been triumphant in their hunt for the illegal traders and had eradicated them as well as set an example. Meanwhile, Durdich had stepped up to his new position as superintendent for your team, and the officers had suspiciously little problems with a Nikto overseeing them. They were less antagonistic towards you as well.</p><p>The general no doubt had a hand in that.</p><p>You were assigned with a new task as well; you were to find the leftover lairs of the traders and find out with whom exactly they traded. To do this, you were given recovered scraps of intel and maps and whatever else the First Order could salvage from the wreckages.</p><p>They were very adamant that they wated you to work on it and even granted you a team of three to direct. You were familiar with all three of them and had worked with them previously. This allowed the four of you to work efficiently and without butting heads.</p><p>It did not mean that things were any less stressful. You had worked for multiple cycles repeatedly and broke the promise you had made to Trix.</p><p>You were now on your fifth night and although you had napped multiple times, you were still exhausted. You desperately needed a full cycle’s sleep but there just was so much left to go through.</p><p>Zen had at some point implanted himself in his drone body to join you, knowing well that he could not convince you of returning to your quarters. He could, however, remind you to take breaks on a regular basis.</p><p>You examined the data once more before you decided to take one just then. You left your seat and informed the droid to wake you in case of an emergency before you slid down the corner’s wall. You would rather rest on the floor than fear falling off the chair.</p><p>Zen joined your side and rested next to you whilst giving off worried beeps. He had noticed that you were not only tired but also dizzy. The dizziness stemmed from your sensitivity that had picked up on strong and violent emotions yet again.</p><p>There had been times over the past weeks when the feeling came close to being stifling. Matt even had to keep you from hitting the floor a few times.</p><p>He and you had kept up the occasional chats although it was a rarity. You would not see him for days on end until he eventually had some assignment somewhere near or in your sector.</p><p>He had been picked on by the troopers for being eccentric and awkward. They had even gone as far as to pull childish pranks on him. You tried to intervene whenever you were witness to it but there was ultimately little that you could do.</p><p>Matt may be quite eccentric, but he was a good and hardworking bumblebee from what you could tell. He did his best to learn his trade, and that was commendable.</p><p>Most troopers perceived it as demeaning and as a demotion when they were reassigned to a different department. They would mope and swagger about and felt elated whenever they could put someone down.</p><p>As if they were the better people for having gone out into battle. Everyone had a role that ensured there would be successes.</p><p>Matt was not like that. Not quite.</p><p>He must have gotten somewhat used to not wearing armour as his stance no longer was as awkward. He was more soft-spoken now and words flowed much easier by now as well.</p><p>He would perk up when you he noticed that you were around; much like a puppy excited to see its master. You believed that it was because he had not made many other social contacts.</p><p>You brightened up at the sight of him as well – mostly because he was a refreshing contrast to many officers. He did not treat you any differently after officer had told him horror stories about you, which said a lot about him and his personality. He simply dismissed them as immature and badly informed rumours.</p><p>You sighed as you returned from your thoughts to reality. You attempted to blink the sleep away that had been creeping up on you, although you did not succeed as much as you wanted and soon dozed off.</p><p>You were not sure how long you were gone when someone finally shook you awake. You originally thought that it was the droid but one you realised who it was, you scrambled backwards, or tried to.</p><p>You hit the wall with a phenomenal clang and then keeled over with your head in your hands. You whined and looked up at the masked knight.</p><p>“That was not my intent.” He put a hand on your head and gingerly soothed the place you had hit. “How long have you been up this time?”</p><p>Zen chirped, providing the answer.</p><p>“This is the fifth night cycle.” You admitted in shame, sure that the commander wore a scolding look underneath that mask of his.</p><p>“You do excellent work.” The commander stated. “There is no need for you to do this much overtime.”</p><p>You groaned. “But the quicker that we complete the assignment, the more will the First Order profit.” You tried to defend yourself, although you were aware that it was futile; you were trying to argue with the commander of all people.</p><p>
  <em>Even General Hux or General Pryde would be easier.</em>
</p><p>He did not even have to voice his order; you knew that it was the same he had given you a few weeks ago. The commander helped you to stand up and ensured that you would not fall over. He only reluctantly let go of your hand to let you walk to your station.</p><p>Zen followed your movements and inquired whether you were all right. He sounded quite distressed, so you soothed him with a few pats. You shut off the holopad and then grudgingly followed the commander out of the room. You expected him to have yet another trooper escort you but you were wrong; he had decided to do it himself.</p><p>He kept a hand on your back to steady you and to keep you from hitting the deck. Zen silently followed.</p><p>“Your droid?” The commander inquired along the way.</p><p>You rubbed at your eyes and did your best to stay awake. “His name is Zen.”</p><p>The two of you arrived at your quarters sooner than you had expected. You thanked the commander and saluted at some point. At least you believed to have done so. The commander was amused by your drowsiness but something else put him off.</p><p>The commander warned you not to overwork yourself before he left. Zen chirped in agreement to which you told him to return to his sleeve.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>I have <strong>great</strong> things planned.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0005"><h2>5. cared for</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>the observatory<br/>talking with matt</p><p>wishes<br/>goodnight</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>I apologise for my long absence - a lot happened. I will try to update more regularly, not just Genuine but the other works as well. Though my main focus is and will be Genuine.</p><p>I've got some other ideas and I may execute them (apparently I like to suffer).</p><p>I wanted to prolong this chapter to make up for my absence but it was difficult to even write this one. writer's block is not helping.</p><p>This is still pre main plot but we are getting closer. First 'field trip' is coming up.</p><p>enjoy.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The Observatory was your favourite place to be, aside from your own quarters. There was rarely someone there and few even knew that the room existed, which was somewhat understandable with it being situated in the lower decks.</p><p>It seemed to be a secret shared among few. But that was fine with you. You needed the downtime away from your fellow officers and overall commotion. And you found serenity in the vast mystery of space.</p><p>The majority of humans would feel unease or even fear when faced with the unknown and untouchable - always desperate to explore and map everything out. The culture of your kind had a much different approach and taught that one should embrace the obscure.</p><p>The difference in views could explained by the mortality of humankind, who could craft powerful weapons and robust armour but were… 'squishy' themselves. To say the least.</p><p>𝔅𝔲𝔱 𝔱𝔥𝔞𝔱 𝔪𝔞𝔨𝔢𝔰 𝔥𝔲𝔪𝔞𝔫𝔰 𝔰𝔬 𝔞𝔡𝔪𝔦𝔯𝔞𝔟𝔩𝔢.</p><p>You hummed in approval.</p><p>Zen moved from his spot near the glass front over to you. He was in his Prowler droid body but today he did not seem to mind as much. You would usually sneak him down here in his sleeve but you did not have the chance to do so that day.</p><p>He enjoyed the observatory just as much as you and would marvel at space as you did.</p><p>The room itself was a contrast with its white walls and glass that had a white tint as well. Even the sombre light was of white colour.</p><p>Zen chirruped, diverting your attention to the left glass front where a meteoroid flew by.</p><p>You had seen much of the galaxy and its beauty and danger – you had even experienced them. And you were acquainted with space only days after you <em>received</em> life.</p><p>Yet it still amazed you and made you wonder just how much more there was. You would hang around the scientists when you were not training, always eager to help them and to learn. But that was many, <strong>many</strong> years ago.</p><p>You had considered changing department and joining the scientific research team but there was always too much that depended on you and now you were assigned yet another trainee. You would definitely be qualified for scientific work and had a record to prove as much.</p><p>You sighed and rubbed at your eyes. The nightmares had returned and had been robbing you of your sleep for a good two weeks now. Trix had been extensively worried and would usher you to your quarters once you had completed a shift.</p><p>Matt had expressed his concerns too. It was sweet that he cared, or seemed to care, though he would dismiss his sentimentality as soon as it emerged.</p><p>Generally, he had proved to be more and more of an oddball. He had detailed knowledge of the galaxy’s history and knew much about force-sensitives, specifically the commander.</p><p>You dismissed the question of his wisdom’s origin and instead focused on learning what little you did not know before. Even if the information presented was familiar to you, you would still listen to what he said.</p><p>He liked to flaunt his expertise, even if it was only theoretical, and enjoyed being heard by someone who is genuinely interested.</p><p>It seemed that no one else took their time to listen to him. In turn, he would hear you out, always impressed and perplexed by all that you knew and had experienced.</p><p>He was somewhat coarse and unrefined, but his endearing oddity made up for it. He had gotten better at socialising, though often simply following your example. He and Trix had found some common ground, allowing them to engage in a friendly squabble every now and then.</p><p>You were glad that he could integrate himself, although with a little help from you. He was also around more often, though sometimes he would be absent for an entire week.</p><p>Perhaps he got assigned planetside.</p><p>You looked up to Zen who had drifted to the right while you were busy with your thoughts. He was focused on a far-off nebula, most likely analysing it.</p><p>“Found something interesting?”</p><p>Zen chirped excitedly in response and flew back over to you, reporting his findings. Though he halted midway to tell you that someone was approaching the room.</p><p>You groaned in belief that it was one of your co-workers coming to fetch you. You did shut off your datapad and commlink.</p><p>You were pleasantly surprised when it was the technician you had previously thought about instead.</p><p>Think of an angel and he shall come to you.</p><p>You greeted him cheerily, and he came to sit beside you on the floor. “Trix told me where I would find you.” He started. “He wanted to check on you himself but he had to work longer.”</p><p>“Not that I do not appreciate it…” You huffed. “…but I can take care of myself.”</p><p>“Doctor Sidri would object.”</p><p>You drew your knees up to your chest. “I fainted a little and now I am made of porcelain?” You snickered.</p><p>Sidri had determined that it was a simple syncope or something along the lines of that. He was unsure as there was no medical information on your species in the databank. And you liked it that way - you did not want there to be files of you or your kind floating around.</p><p>“Trix mentioned that you come down here often.”</p><p>You looked up at him. “It’s my getaway.”</p><p>It was homey and reminded you of times long past. You had spent many of your early years aboard ships where you would pass hours in the observatory. Both planetside and in space.</p><p>You told Matt as much and mentioned that you had considered changing department but gave your reason you had not done so already, too.</p><p>“Why were you assigned to Intelligence then?” Matt frowned.</p><p>You groaned. “The higherups saw that I had extensive combat experience and dealt with intel on a daily basis… and that was it.”</p><p>Matt then inquired why you were not employed in active combat zones. The topic was rather uncomfortable for you.</p><p>“They don’t want to take chances with me.” Your tone implied that you wanted to leave it at that. Matt understood as much.</p><p>The next few minutes were spent in silence.</p><p>“What do you think of the commander?” Matt eventually spoke up.</p><p>“That’s a little off the wall.” You chuckled. “Where did that come from?” You did not have a problem with the question itself, but it was oddly timed.</p><p>Matt cleared his throat. “Alir mentioned that your attitude differed from the norm.”</p><p>You hummed and took a moment to think. Zen meanwhile whirred around the left glass front, once more focused on some celestial object.</p><p>“I venerate and commiserate him.” You declared. “He may be strong and all that, but it cannot be healthy for one’s mind if one is constantly avoided and feared.”</p><p>Matt sulked.</p><p>“He reminds me of a folktale of my kind that we would tell our younglings.” You continued. “The tale was about a kind of eidolon or wraith that always wandered the hummocks by itself, abhorred by its own kindred.”</p><p>Matt frowned. “Why is that a story for children?”</p><p>“We were born as very mistrusting creatures and we counteracted that very early on with tales like those.” You explained with a forlorn look. “There is much more to the tale but it is difficult to express in human tongue.”</p><p>Something told Matt not to pry.</p><p>You soon stood up and called Zen back to you. “I would love to stay longer but Pryde tasked me with a personal assignment and I would hate to disappoint him.” You left the observatory and went back to your station, coming across Trix along the way.</p><p>Once at your station, TJ, your apprentice, told you joyfully that she had completed the task that you had given her. She really was a bundle of space joy.</p><p>“Good, then you are done for today.” You decided once you took a look at the time. It would not be long until the lights changed, so giving her something else to work on would be superfluous.</p><p>TJ thanked you and packed up, wished you a good night and then left. The lights changed their colour soon after, which allowed you to work more efficiently and level-headed. Though the relentless tug of sleep did not stop.</p><p>Perhaps you should have taken a nap whilst you were down in the observatory. You still managed to work a few hours on the assignment but you drifted off eventually.</p><p>You registered the sound of the doors at some point and felt someone’s hand on your shoulder. You heard a familiar voice mumble something, but you could not care less at that moment - you were nightmare-free for once.</p><p>However, you did care once you were lifted from your seat, though not enough to physically protest. Zen chirped in alarm at first but calmed down once the person whispered something to him.</p><p>You heard the doors of the room once more and then felt the familiar air of the hallway surround you. “I will be honest…” You murmured loud enough for the person carrying you to hear. “If I were not so tired, I would absolutely sucker punch you.”</p><p>Matt chuckled in response.</p><p>“I don’t like people taking care of me.” You added. “Bad things happen when they try.”</p><p>Matt hummed and stopped in his tracks, having come across Trix, who briefly removed his helmet. You felt him ruffle through your hair and heard him speak to Matt.</p><p>“Thanks for looking after her.” He spoke. “She knows how to look after others but not so much herself. As cliché as it sounds.” His words and actions held the semblance of a worried sibling.</p><p>Trix then excused himself, put his helmet on and joined his patrol partner who waited up ahead.</p><p>Matt continued to your quarters, cleverly evading the eyes of leering troopers. Zen unlocked the door and lead Matt to your bed before he disappeared into another room.</p><p>“Thank you, Matt.” You mumbled. “You are really sweet… and kind.” You were curled up already and drew the covers close to you.</p><p>Matt grimaced - he was unused to such compliments. He usually only got ‘compliments’ on his combative skills and even those would be spoken in a demeaning tone by his mentor.</p><p>He heard a metal sound from the doorway on his right and looked over. There stood a Sith warbeast, a Tuk’ata, much to his surprise. Though one made of metal. He had heard many accounts of these creatures but had never come across one himself.</p><p>This one’s eyes were a mixture of glowing red and lavender, and its tail extended long beyond.</p><p>Matt expected it to jump him, but it instead made its way over to the bed and settled in behind you. It rested its head on your shoulder and emitted a low purr.</p><p>You reached up to pat the head of the creature. “Good boy, Zen.”</p><p>Matt frowned. This was the same droid that flew about in a drone body minutes ago? He would have to ask you about it sometime soon.</p><p>…</p><p>Matt had to admit one thing – you were sweet yourself.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>thanks for reading - I am sorry if this was a disappointing return. I will get back on track soon.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0006"><h2>6. accompany</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Trix is going on a mission<br/>you are to accompany the commander</p><p>TJ has a run in with an 'MP'<br/>you sort of bond with the commander</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>I am so sorry. I have been caught up writing my MA, and 'Genuine' has just drifted into the background. At least we are coming close to certain events.</p><p>I also have a new story planneed: premise is a completely cyberized reader and a commander aka Kylo whose touch she can feel.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The hangar bustled with officers and troopers that loaded up the ships whilst mechanics and technicians took care of the inner workings. Trix stood offside with a black helmet clasped under his arm and a bitter smile, more so as his temporary squad leader passed by.</p><p>He felt somewhat eager to get back onto a battlefield and to feel that specific rush of adrenalin although he was moreover scared. There had been justified reasons why he had <strong>requested</strong> to be put on onboard patrol duty, and now he was being forced back into a role that he had wanted to leave behind.</p><p>He sighed out of relief once you stepped up to him. You wore a sweet smile instead although there was an underlying look of agony which had been undoubtedly provoked by the officers you had been working with.</p><p>The two of you exchanged brief pleasantries – each of you attempting to soothe the other one. You eventually produced a coin-sized medallion from the pocket of your jacket. “I know that this is a selfish request, but I would like for you to carry this.” You attested as you handed the medal to Trix who took a moment to inspect the innate carving. “This is a sort of patron saint for sovereign guards. Or was.”</p><p>“Aw, someone’s worried.” He cooed with a chuckle as he slipped the medallion in the chest slot of his armour.</p><p>“It’s a dangerous mission and I don’t want you returned in less than <em>presentable</em> condition.” You murmured under your breath and turned to envelop the trooper in a surprise hug. He laughed at first before returning it. “Make sure to keep an eye on your six.”</p><p>The squad leader called for Trix which made you let go off him. “Time to be Trinity once more.” He sighed as left your side. You hoped desperately that you would get to see him again as you returned to your own task.</p><p>A good two hours later and you stood opposite the commander with a bitter smile. You had your updated datapad clasped tightly as you explained to him why Senior General Pryde had ordered you to accompany the knight.</p><p>“Why did he choose you?” He followed up.</p><p>You could only shrug your shoulders. “You are still the commander, so you could revoke his order.” You suggested.</p><p>“No need.” The commander shook his head. “Your company is a welcome one.” He certainly was direct when he wanted to be.</p><p>You followed the commander from there on and acted as his advisor during his meetings. You would do this all week so you tried to adjust to the commander’s hefty aura as best as you could. It at least kept your mind off your worries about Trix.</p><p>“You seem close with that trooper.” He commented whilst the two of you walked down the hall.</p><p>You withheld a laugh. “There was a crowd in the hangar…” You looked over to him. “…and I stuck out to you?”</p><p>The commander stopped in his tracks. “You stand out amongst the dreary officers.”</p><p>You crossed your arms. “I’ll take that as a compliment.” You smiled. “But he and I are…” You drifted off and took a moment to think. “He is like a brother to me that I want to protect.” You said after a moment. “He reminds me a lot of someone that I once viewed as a brother as well.”</p><p>The two of you carried on and soon met up with the diplomats from Ha’Phi who were rather agitated at the sight of the First Order commander accompanied by what they recognized to be a sovereign guard of your kind. They did not outright announce as much but the fearful look in their eyes left little to the imagination.</p><p>The commander did not realise that you were the cause of their agitation and just assumed that it was the same as with everyone else – that they feared him because of his reputation.</p><p>You simply acted neutral, even reserved. You were aware of the crimes that the people of Ha’Phi once committed and knew that their regime stood shaky. Partly thanks to your kin.</p><p>You smoothed things over when either party would get aggravated – not just with the Ha’Phi but in the other meetings as well. The biggest problem for you was adapting to the commander’s volatile presence as it exhausted you to no ends.</p><p>Once the final conference ended, you took a seat and rested your head on the table. The knight and you were the only ones left at that point. “Feeling unwell?”</p><p>You barely shook your head but turned to look at him. “Just tired.” You muttered. “So, nothing new.” You added with a chuckle. The commander escorted you to your room afterwards, afraid that you would sink to the floor unconscious yet again.</p><p>You caught up with Zen, who monitored your daily operations for you and altered details as needed, before you retired for the day. You were back to working your station the next morning and joined to the commander’s side in the afternoon.</p><p>The two of you were well on your way to the bridge to meet with Pryde when you came across TJ. You greeted her with a simple wave at first but then stopped her in her tracks by gently seizing her arm. The commander had halted as well and turned to observe.</p><p>“Who did that to you and what happened?”</p><p>TJ instinctively covered the blue bruise but also stepped closer to you. “I believe that his identification number was MP-52.” She whispered just loud enough for you to hear and then went on to tell you exactly what had transpired.</p><p>“Take the rest of the day off, and I will deal with it… and him.”</p><p>TJ could only nod and then left your side. She had not even acknowledged the commander in her haste. You turned to the commander with a bitter smile. “Could you… excuse me for a moment?”</p><p>He had a bad feeling about letting you go but something told him that this ‘MP-52’ deserved whatever came his way. He nodded curtly and watched as you turned and left down some hallway.</p><p>Once you were out of the knight’s range, you activated your Focus. “Zen, find me this MP and file a complaint about him.” There was an affirmative signal from the other end. “But send it to Hux with my signature on it.”</p><p>No minute later, you had the location of the soldier pinpointed; the MP corps were part of onboard security and resided in the lower decks. You found 52 surrounded by other MPs, gloating about one or the other thing.</p><p>You called out to him and motioned for him to come over. You held a curt conversation with him in which you realised just how much of a smug and chauvinistic bastard he was.</p><p>“Touch or come near her ever again and that will have been the last time you have had hands.”</p><p>The MP laughed, not taking your threat serious. The other MPs had long since understood what had been going on and told their colleague to back off. Some of them knew about you from their days with the Allegro Forces and as such knew what the smarter choice would be in this matter.</p><p>You took a look whether the MP wore his weapon on the left or the right hip. He carried it on his right side.</p><p>
  <em>He’s lefthanded.</em>
</p><p>It took no more than a few seconds and the MP was crying out in pain on the floor with a broken left arm. You could not care less if you would get written up.</p><p>You kneeled next to the MP.</p><p>“You do not put your hands on someone that is weaker than you.” You gritted. “Certainly not on a child.” That was the one detail that irritated you the most.</p><p>You called out to the other MPs and recommended that they should move their friend to a medbay before you stood up and left. You asked Zen to determine the commander’s location, unsurprised to find that he had already moved on.</p><p>The closer you got to him, though, the more overwhelmed you felt. Your sensitivity had picked up on aggravation that continuously grew. Now you were the one with a bad feeling.</p><p>Even more so as several officers and troopers ran past you. You were unsure now whether you genuinely wanted to round this corner. But you felt that you had an obligation. You were unsure why or what this obligation truly was but there it was.</p><p>You stopped in the gateway of the room and were a silent witness to what chaos went on. There was a single officer left standing there who you gestured to come over. He carefully inched away from the angered commander and told you what had happened in as few words as possible.</p><p>It turned out that the officer was a messenger and that the news he had passed on to the commander were the reason for his tantrum. You told him to leave and that you would take care of <em>this.</em></p><p>
  <em>The news must have been… personal.</em>
</p><p>The wild and inconsistent sizzle of the lightsaber awakened dark memories within you that you tried to block off, and its red flare did not help either. You shook your head and took a step forward into the room, letting the doors shut behind you.</p><p>You set your datapad aside onto the console.</p><p>There was an undertone of solitude to his anger. As much as the commander presented himself as a cold-hearted loner, he still longed for companionship. But all he got were people running and cowering in fear.</p><p>You might be avoided and despised just as much but they all were not your people and it reminded you of what you told Matt when he asked how you felt about the commander; the eidolon that was shunned by its own kindred, and what the folktale is supposed to teach.</p><p>You sighed at the sight of the crossguard still sizzling at the commander’s side. You were aware of each minute movement of his when you approached. The slightest flick of his wrist made alarm bells go off in your head.</p><p>Where was Trix when you desperately needed him to keep you from endangering yourself?</p><p>You embraced the commander although you left space for him to free himself if he wanted to. There was a long moment of silence where you held your breath – you hoped for the best, but you anticipated the worst.</p><p>There was little reaction of his at first, but he eventually moved to shut off the lightsaber and sheathe it. You released the breath and then rested your head against his back. You wondered whether you had reached him, and the answer came soon after.</p><p>“You are very brave.” He put a single hand atop of yours.</p><p>“This is not bravery…”</p><p>
  <em>…this is compassion.</em>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0007"><h2>7. zenith</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>worries about Trix<br/>your species</p><p>ZEN<br/>stretching the meaning of the word zenith :)<br/>emotional talk and  a commander that cares</p><p>a short bonus</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>an update so soon?<br/>whatever is wrong with me?<br/>(a week and a day - I counted)</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>There had been no word from Elipsi for almost a week now. No attack had been reported before contact broke, which left the communications team at a loss. Atop of that, it was too unsure of a situation for reinforcements to be sent.</p><p>You had asked Durdich to alleviate you from certain duties in order that you could devote some of your time aiding the comms team. There was not much anyone there could do but trying would not hurt. If you had any less control over yourself, you would have taken a ship and gone to Elipsi yourself, regardless of whether you would have been given permission or not.</p><p>You had known Trix only for a few months now, but your protective instinct surged immensely when it came to him. You failed to protect the last person you called a brother, and you did not want a repeat of those events; not only had you been left with a deep physical scar but with an even deeper emotional one.</p><p>Your kind were highly sentimental and therefore, emotional events and injuries held more significance. Scars from injuries were also only kept if the event was emotionally charged. Sure, scars attained in battle could be tied to emotions, but you would learn to deal with that pain early on. So, the scars would fade after a while.</p><p>You were tapped on the shoulder. “How are you feeling?” Matt peered at you with concern. You had only noticed then that you had drowned in your thoughts.</p><p>The cacophony of the mess hall permeated your head like a freshly sharpened arrow. All that worry had you live through an almost constant headache, and when you did not have one, the environment caused you one.</p><p>“Fine.” You muttered. “Just tired.”</p><p>It did not convince Matt – you were unusually silent and lost yourself in your thoughts more often than you already did. Trix’s absence really did a number on you. He had not been the only one who noticed as much. Even TJ had approached Matt in worry.</p><p>“You know, for a nonhuman, you look awfully like one.” The unexpected statement had come from Alir, who had unexpectedly joined your group for lunch. He had formed a genuine interest in you during the recent weeks and would confront you with questions about both you and your kin.</p><p>Nothing that caused you concern up till now.</p><p>“Centuries of evolution have given my kind certain abilities.” You hummed. “It’s difficult to explain beyond that.”</p><p>Alir raised his brows. “Damn, how old is your species anyway?”</p><p>“Oh, ancient.” You sighed.</p><p>Silence returned to the table afterwards, and you leaned back onto Matt’s shoulder, sinking into your thoughts once more. Or worries.</p><p>You excused yourself from lunch early as you would rather bury yourself in work, and that was pretty much what you did for the next few hours. The work you did was sloppy, and progress had been scarce. It ended with you scrapping most of the data.</p><p>You put your head in your hands. It sounded almost ridiculous that the absence of someone you only knew for such a brief time left you in such a state. There were just so many parallels between Trix and <em>him</em>. Enough so that the lines blurred for you.</p><p>Trix had neither issues with his temper nor was he as much of a crybaby like the person you once called brother, but the bits of wilfulness and cockiness were there – amongst other traits.</p><p>You groaned – you needed Zen and you needed a break.</p><p>A few hours later and you were nowhere to be found. TJ had been to the mess hall after she did not find you at the station and then even checked with the comms team on whether they had seen you. The answer to which was no. TJ had then gone to your quarters where the sensor’s red light signalled that you were out.</p><p>She had pinged you several times but no response to that either. She even went to ask Lieutenant Mitaka about you. A no from him, too. She returned to the station in defeat and dawdled in her chair, resting her head on the console and contemplating where you might be.</p><p>The sound of the doors made her jolt upwards and turn around. There stood the commander instead of the co-worker she thought there would be. She scrambled into a salute as quick as she could.</p><p>“At ease.” He soothed, and TJ sat back down after a moment of hesitation. “Is Silky around?”</p><p>She shook her head. “I’ve been to the mess hall, the comms team and her quarters but she was nowhere to be found, and her commlink is shut off.” The commander nodded and then left the room. There had been one place TJ had not checked.</p><p>
  <em>The Observatory.</em>
</p><p>The lights there were shut off but the soft light that Zen emitted was enough to pinpoint your spot in the room. You had your head rested on your folded jacket and were curled up, presumably asleep and with the droid huddled close to you.</p><p>He looked considerably smaller than the time Kylo had seen him in your room. Like a puppy instead of an adult warbeast. He now perked up as the knight approached and nudged you awake.</p><p>The commander had meanwhile sat on the sill with his hands clasped together. You took a moment to pull yourself together before standing up yourself and taking a seat on the sill yourself. You leaned with your back against the wall with Zen resting in your lap.</p><p>The question of how the commander found you had not even crossed your mind; you were too focused on not making yourself look like a fool in front of him. There was silence for a while before the commander asked about your droid.</p><p>“He is, as you surely noticed, modelled like a Tuk’ata.” You could tell that he was thrown off by the small form Zen was currently in. “Don’t let looks deceive you.” You smiled. “This sleeve can change its size.”</p><p>Ah, that explained it. He should have thought of that first. “He seems to mean a lot to you.” He intended to lead the conversation down a path where he would learn more about not just you but also that Tuk’ata.</p><p>You huffed with a grin. “Would you care to listen?” Zen moved about in your lap. “It is quite a bit of a story.”</p><p>Kylo nodded after a moment.</p><p>So, you told him about how you had always been taken along on expeditions and this already at an incredibly early age. One of which had taken you to a place that used to be a Sith sanctuary. Despite warnings, you had gone off on your own to explore the ruins.</p><p>You had managed to lose yourself in the labyrinth of the lower levels and tried to find your way by following the murals and runes. You went from the lowest level to the top level where something alike an altar stood upon a column.</p><p>You had difficulty climbing up there but it was worth it in the end because there was your soon-to-be lifelong companion. He was laying atop the altar, caught in what seemed to be a stasis. And by being on top of there, he was the highest point on the mountain.</p><p>
  <em>The Zenith.</em>
</p><p>“The problem came when we realised that he was overgrowing.” Zen had in the meantime taken to walking along the sill to look at the nebula. “Not that we minded but it became difficult when diplomatic events were involved.”</p><p>Because many would feel intimidated. It was not as bad as some haughty ambassadors had made it out to be, but your sovereign asked you to figure something out. You began to work on a metal vessel and imprinted Zenith’s conscience onto what would become his droid sleeve with the help of your kind’s advanced technology.</p><p>“That sounds… difficult.” The commander noted.</p><p>You nodded your head and groaned at the memory. “Agonisingly so.” You were a silent for a moment. “Nowadays, Zenith keeps watch over the Yavath’Druur whilst Zen keeps an eye on me.”</p><p>You could tell that the commander was mulling over what you had said. He could gather from what you said and from your tone how much you cared about the Tuk’ata. “We share a very close bond.” He looked up at you.</p><p>“I understand.”</p><p>You huffed. “No disrespect, Commander, but you really do not.” You grimaced. “Zen is an integral part of me.” Zen meanwhile returned to your side and nestled into your lap. “If <strong>Zen</strong> is hurt, so will I.”</p><p>The commander straightened up.</p><p>“You may think that such a bond is foolish but if you live as long as my species does…” You drifted off. “I have lost so many, and Zenith has been the only constant figure in my life.”</p><p>Kylo truly knew not what to say.</p><p>
  <em>If I were to lose Zenith, then I would not <strong>want</strong> to live.</em>
</p><p>Now he understood. At least to a certain degree.</p><p>Kylo had gone through his own fair share of pain, both physical and emotional, but he could not even begin to imagine what you had gone through. You had said yourself once before that your kind could turn aeons old.</p><p>Silence settled.</p><p>For a long time.</p><p>Kylo had tried to collect his thoughts and tried to figure out what to say. He could not offer much comfort, and you did not seem to want any. At least not for that. He stood up after a moment of thought.</p><p>“As commander, I am one of the first to receive updates.” He started. “If there’s anything specific, you will be second to know.” It was a promise.</p><p>You heaved a sigh out of relief, resigning to gift him a small smile instead of another surprise embrace. “Thank you.”</p><p>Kylo hesitated for a moment. “Shall I escort you to your quarters?” He sounded incredibly demure, despite the modulator. You had to hold back a laugh.</p><p>“Thank you but I think I’ll stay down here a little longer.”</p><p>Kylo nodded and left after a moment. For once, his mercurial presence did not exhaust you as much as on other days. It allayed your worries instead and helped keep your emotions under some control.</p><p>You extended your arms towards Zen who took the chance to nuzzle up to you.</p><hr/><p>Matt wanted to check up on you the next morning but the light on your door indicated that you were not there. Taking a chance, he went down to the observatory.</p><p>You were asleep on the sill and had Zen rest on your abdomen. You looked more placid in the presence of the nebula and Zen than you had anywhere else all week.</p><p>The droid lifted his head and chirruped to wake you up. Something about the droid made Matt shudder. Like a protective aura that warned Matt – warned Kylo.</p><p>He grimaced.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>‘Mauled by a Tuk’ata’ was not on his to-do list.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>I hope you enjoyed!<br/>I'd love to have some feedback, tell me things I can do better or any other criticism.</p></blockquote></div></div>
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